Baby I love ya but you're making me fat!

I'm a woman who loves a man. In doing so I am willing to compromise and make sacrifices in many ways. It's important to me and I'm just nice like that.

Nice but not too nice. Because while I am willing to watch Iron Man and discuss the NHL trades with you, despite not knowing Dion Phaneuf from Celine Dion, I will not sacrifice my health....at least not willingly.

It's the age old story of a couple who spends so much time together that they begin to take on each others habits. This particular story is rather one-sided though because while I now eat more pizza then I would care to admit, the Boyfriend is not a single step closer to lacing up his sneakers for a mid-winter run. Not fair!

Without a doubt he's thinking "cheeseburger with bacon"

Let me just say, I love vegetables but I also love me some junk food. When both are in the house I'm prone to a will-power outage and then compelled to choose the latter. The Boyfriend likes to have the junk within arm's reach. The vegetables are fine where they sit at the grocery store in his opinion.

Having the junk food around is the #1 cause for why my pants are so freakin' tight these days and I know it! Now I should clarify that I am not blaming him. (love you, love you, love youuuuu!!!) but perhaps suggesting that he is an accomplice to the food crimes that I am committing more and more often. At the end of the day I'm accountable for me but his bi-weekly trips to McDonalds are NOT helping!

So whats a gal to do? As it stands we rarely eat the exact same dinner. I usually make a healthified version of the menu for myself but this can be time consuming and worrisome. I want him to eat more like me, not the other way around, both for the sake of my waistline and his health. Truly that is the biggest issue in this whole situation. The person I love, who I want to be here for a long, long, long time, isn't taking care of himself in the best ways possible. And it scares me.

He knows I feel this way. I nag remind him almost daily. But he's a big boy and I'm not his mom. Just like me, his choices are his own. I just hope my healthy eating habits rub off a little more. Thanks to me shoving it in his hand he finally tried a Green Monster so I guess that's a step in the right direction right??


So tell me, what would you do in this situation? Have you ever had to deal with a loved one's poor eating habits? Were you able to influence him/her to make healthy changes?


  1. I try to make sure there is lots of fruit and healthier snacks around and try to encourage him to drink less soda. We DO enjoy going to the gym or running together. It takes a little bit of trial and error but I've been able to find some healthy meals that he will eat. Good luck!

  2. I don't have any great advice but I can maybe give some encouragement because I'm in a very similar situation. My boyfriend and I don't lIve together and he is good about being willing to eat the healthy vegetarian recipes I cook for dinner when he comes, BUT I do worry about his health and what he's eating the rest of the time. He's a guy that loves his meat (especially bacon) and has an on-again-off-again (though mostly off) relationship with running. It can be incredibly frustrating because these are passions of mine that he doesn't necessarily share...and because, like you, I worry about his health.

    I've found that the things that have worked the best are not my nagging (though I still do it) but rather gentle suggestions that we both try something. Or sometimes we make compromises and I'll tell him I'll do something if he goes for a walk with me, etc. I think your example CAN eventually pay off...it just may take time. My boyfriend just surprised me by telling me he was going to give up red meat for the year. This was something he came up with completely on his own, but he told me it's because he wants to start being more conscious about his health. Needless to say, it was a pretty exciting day for me!! Anyway, this long winded comment is just to say...hang in there!! Just keep your healthy snacks around and hopefully he will soon follow your example.

  3. My husband is an Ironman triathlete. He'll come home and say things like "I just burned 4,000 calories on that bike ride!" or "I just burned 1,900 calories on my run!" At which point I kick him out.

    Not really--but it does make eating together REALLY difficult. I just try to be calm about it--sometimes I eat more than I want to/need, and sometimes it's fine that we don't eat the same things.

    I also do the grocery shopping, so sometimes he has to refuel on veggies and tofu... :-)

  4. Have you been spying on me? My husbands habits sound similar to your man. It can make life difficult. Hubby brought home a freakin' box of Hostess Chocolate Cupcakes the other day...I wanted to beat him over the head with them :) I have to say though that he has become more and more supportive along the way. One thing I find helpful is to stash the junk in a top cupboard (that you have to climb on a chair to get). They get the point and it's not staring you in the face and you have to put forth some effort to get it if you REALLY want it. Just a thought. Good luck!

  5. Your habits will rub off on him...at some point! My hubby and I used to be like that, so I just tried to find some healthified versions of his favorite things! Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. But he is now eating much better and I am able to sneak some really healthy things into our menu! I've been trying to talk him into going meatless for a meal a week to prove that you can have a meal without meat, but I'm not getting too far with that one! :)

  6. before we were together, Hubbs ate frozen pizzas nightly... topped with extra cheese and pepperoni he would layer on himself- ugh. Now I cook dinner and he eats whatever I make. We still have pizza, but it's healthified. I'm lucky that he isn't very picky :) When we go out, we still have nachos, but since we mostly eat at home, we eat very healthy foods most of the time. And Hubbs is 30 pounds lighter now than when I first met him :)

  7. I have the same problem with my husband. He eats so much more food than I do and he is still stick thin. I've been cooking healthy dinners for us lately, and the other day he told me he was hungry and instead of eating chips he had a banana. That made me a little happy inside.

  8. You can't change someone if they don't want to change, so I don't agree that your habits will rub off on him eventually...unless he wants them to.

    I would try making healthier versions of the foods he already eats. If he wants a burger, make a healthier one at home instead of hitting up Micky Ds. The hungrygirl.com website has TONS of swaps that I make at home and they taste just as good with a lot less fat/calories.

    Or...maybe steer him toward the "healthiest" of the options there. Like the "Eat this, not that" book has lots of suggestions.

  9. I fight a similar battle. My husband is a meat and potatoes guy through and through. He was raised on Paula Dean-esque cooking as the norm. He's fairly tolerant of my healthified versions of most dishes, but he still doesn't truly appreciate the power of vegetables and refuses to stray too far from his food roots.

    It's definitely frustrating. It's annoying to make more than one meal for dinner, but it's equally annoying to eat something you don't really want to be eating.

  10. I have to say that I have struggled with this! My husband has NEVER been over weight but he absolutly had awful eating habits (fast food sometimes twice daily, white bread, chips, no fruit or veggies, lots of meat). Then he met me and I just slowly started informing him about nutrition. He watched the choices I made and while not always influenced, I slowly started phasing certain things out by packing his lunches for him, encouraging breakfast (even if it was a pop tart, etc). When we got married, I started discussing the health of our children. Everything was about our future kids and how I wanted them to be healthy. Instead of focusing on himself, he started looking at it from his future child's perspective. By soley agreeing to give up HFCS, that cut out A LOT of junk; pop, pop-tarts, sugary cereals, etc. Then I just started to manipulate more and more with stories and health articles. It's amazing how he has changed for the better and how he wanted to change! I never thought we could both live a semi-vegetarian/vegan lifestyle together but we compromise. I'll still eat meat every now and then and he will eat my vegetarian dishes most of the time. Just start slowly. Can't expect him to change over night but baby steps help!

  11. Just found your blog and I love it! I too have a fiance who is a junk food aholic-I'm constantly trying to find the balance of his lifestyle and mine and it's def a constant struggle between me and my zipper to my pants!!!!
    I was going to do a "opposites attract" post showcasing his daily intake too!

  12. I've totally had the same issues with the Husband.

    Like you, if the bad stuff is around I totally lack will-power. That of course, frustrates him because he wants to keep treats around.

    Our happy medium? He eats healthier now and when he wants a treat we buy it at the grocery store and he takes it to work!

    Everyone is happy! :o)

  13. OMG - this is soooo my relationship with my hubby. However, it does wear off a little bit. Just a little bit. Since I have been on this kick to be healthier and fitter since July, he signed up for a race in December with his coworkers...ever since then, something clicked..he said he could be an even better runner if he would just eat better!! That made my day. Soo he is getting there but still needs a lot of work, haha!

  14. i am so gla that u posted the 7 links bc i never read this post.

    i know what u mean. mybf is a little more lenient and will eat my healthier versions...he will just demand meat.
    my biggest thing with him in beer. he can have a beer or 2 every evening. and as much as i love my beer or wine....i dont want it every night. but since he has some, i give in and have one also.

    great post!


  15. This was my story for a good while- I moved to the USA to be with my man (from London) and he introduced me to Taco Bell and cheap buffets (thanks a LOT lol!)
    He tried to be supportive but it didnt last long, and it made it really hard for me to eat healthy with all the junk around!
    I perservered, and this year I really powered into health and fitness with serious intent- I didnt care what he was doing- I went to the gym by myself, I followed Dr. Ian Smiths 'Four Day Diet' to learn how to cook small, healthy plant based portions of food for myself. The weight came off and he got inspired by watching ME. And he got lonely at home and frequently comes to the gym with me. And I kept feeding him info. on healthy eating- and he kept getting more into it. I actually paid for his ticket and took him to see 'Forks Over Knives' and that inspired him so much he has become about 99% vegan! He actually made a kale dish before me (ive never cooked kale lol!) and he refuses to eat cheese and love his almond milk....stranger things havent happened in this world...just thought Id give you some hope ;)