No Regrets....

So I know I haven't talked about it in a while, nor did I give you the promised update on my progress since I signed up for My Fitness Pal a few months ago (I am such a lying jerk, I know!) and because I suspect you have all been just waiting on the edge of your seats, here it is:

I haven't lost a freakin' pound.

Alright that's another lie (its becoming compulsive!)

I lost 5lbs in the first two weeks, got lazy and careless, stopped using the tool altogether and gained the 5 back. Then I gained a few more for good measure.

Not exactly the game plan.

That was in May. Now that its mid July (holy crap where is the summer going!) I am really starting to feel like I let myself down on this one. Too many excuses, too many I'll start tomorrow's and here I am at my "not happy weight" and regretting that I let it get here ....again.

In the words of Karen Lamb:

A year from now you may wish you had started today

On other (Sam) words:

What the hell are you waiting for??

I know that if left to my habits from the past few months I would definitely be wishing I had started something today. So instead of giving myself 365 days to build up some really crushing regret I'm just going to go ahead and start today.

Or rather Monday. As in last Monday.

As of the beginning of the week I am back on My Fitness Pal and keeping track of my food intake and exercise. I am focusing on wholesome food and portion control as well as maintaining my typical activity level in the hopes that I can shed some of the excess weight that is literally bogging me down.

And yes I am still the girl that loves herself at any size. That hasn't changed at all. On the flip side I can't lug around unnecessary pounds because it isn't good for my health or my training. Let's be honest, would you want to run carrying a 15lb back pack?

I think not.

So this is it..no more excuses! I need to own my choices while keeping my goals in mind. I get up and run because I have a goal (ie: marathon) so this really shouldn't be any different. And like the occasional missed workout, a slice of pizza here and there won't destroy my ability to meet my goal.

A slice of pizza and a skipped workout every day might be a different story.

Now I know this is not a "weight loss" blog but sometimes losing weight is a part of an overall healthy lifestyle so my plans are to keep you in the loop as far as progress and insights are concerned. If you are the type to steer clear of this type of conversation because it might trigger an issue for you (or because you find it D-U-L-L) I completely understand. There will be plenty of other posts for you to enjoy.

And yes, there will still be cat photos (who just breathed a sigh of relief on that one??)

Here's a little trick that I picked up along the way: When trying to eat a calorie controlled yet nutrient dense diet, always fill up on veggies.

Yeah, I would say I got that down to a science don't ya think?

Now that's no lie!


So tell me, what's one thing (big or small) you should start today so you won't look back with regret?

Finding My Healthy, Happy Weight

Based on the comments from yesterday's post it seems that tracking food, calories and exercise is much more common than I realized!

It's great to see so many of you taking advantage of the free online applications that allow you to better manage your healthy and balanced lifestyle. And for those of you who aren't able to use tracking due to a previous ED, I am proud that you acknowledge your triggers and avoid them for the sake of your health and well being. Good job everyone!!

As I was writing yesterday's post I asked myself why I was hesitant to discuss weight loss and weight management on my blog. After all its MY blog right? I guess the truth is I didn't want to be judged as vain. I also didn't want to offend anyone. I want this to be a positive space but I also want it to be candid and real and so with that I will say this:

I am currently working towards a weight loss goal of 15lbs.

Yes, I recently posted bikini photos in an effort to demonstrate my self-confidence but I will argue that wanting to lose weight and being confident are not mutually exclusive. I am not ashamed of what I look like today in any way. That being said, I know that I am 15lbs heavier then I was last year when I was taking better care of my self from a nutritional perspective.



Happy weight..curves included!



Thus, I know that my happy weight is my current weight less 15 lbs. Its a happy weight because I can maintain it through regular exercise and a wholesome diet but without deprivation or drastic restrictions.

Its also my happy weight because I am comfortable in my own skin but I maintain the feminine curves that I (and the Boyfriend) adore so much!

It took my some time to accept that my happy weight isn't a size 2. I struggled with the idea that I might never be as thin as some of the other women I know. But now I recognize that I am not a size 2 because I have full breasts and muscular quads and a booty that might give Beyonce a run for her money and those are things that I am 100% content with.

Me at my happy weight will never fit into a size 2 and I am fine with that. I'm just not that woman and thank goodness because how boring would we be if we were all cookie cutters of Natalie Portman anyway??

I'm happy with who I am but I can also admit I am a work in progress. My goal is to be the healthiest and happiest that I can be and that's a lifetime quest!

So tell me, do you have a "happy" weight? How do you define it?

Accountability vs. Obsession

I'll admit, I am apprehensive to discuss weight and weight loss on my blog. I have witnessed a great deal of controversy in the healthy living community with respects to this highly sensitive subject and I have always opted to tread lightly (or barely at all)

The truth is, while I recognize and agree that our society puts a lot of emphasis on body image and a distorted understanding of what the ideal female shape is, I still believe weight and weight loss are topics that can't be ignored.




Source


To me weight serves as one of the (but not the only) key indicators of health.

A healthy body weight, when achieved through good nutrition and adequate physical activity, signals that we are providing our bodies with the fuel to perform at an optimal level on the inside and out.

Additionally, I can't help but look at weight maintenance as a preventative measure against diseases like diabetes, heart disease and cancer.

So yes, while it can be difficult to discern what a healthy weight and body shape is, and in many case it is varied from person to person based on a set of circumstances, I will come right out and say that I believe people do need to be held accountable for their health.

Food, exercise, rest and stress reduction are a part of health. When done properly these all lead to a healthy weight.

Thus, healthy weight=accountability, at least in my opinion.

I don't look past the fact that for some people a focus on weight becomes obsessive. Then again, I don't believe it necessarily goes hand in hand with obsession either. I believe many people (although perhaps not all) can hold themselves closely accountable without bordering on compulsion.

Okay, let me take a step back. I'm not a doctor or a trained professional in this area, so I will continue by talking about myself specifically:

I believe I can and SHOULD track my eating habits and exercise patterns because this keeps me accountable and therefore healthy. Believe me when I say I want to be healthy. I really do. But sometimes its just to easy to "forget" about the Easter eggs you snuck before dinner or underestimate the number of calories in a yummy drink from your local coffee house.

Sometimes its easy for me to let myself slip, again and again and again. And then, as if out of no where I am feeling sluggish, my pants are much tighter, I have a reoccurring headache and I've gained 10lbs. Ooops!? Yeah, not exactly.

Enter My Fitness Pal, an online application that allows me to plug in my goal (weight loss, weight maintenance etc), my personal details including my activity level and voila I am given my calorie target. Throughout the day I input all the food and beverages that I consume and their calorie totals are subtracted from my initial target, ultimately determining if I am on target, over or under.

My favorite things about the tool are:

• I am able to input my exercise for the day which add to my calorie target. In all honesty my target is quite low on a daily basis but when I exercise for 30 minutes or more I definitely have a more manageable calorie allotment for the day. (This has increased my motivation to workout pretty significantly)

• The tool tracks saturated fat, fibre, protein and other nutritional information which are just as valuable as calories for overall health

• The tool recognizes foods from my local grocery chain and restaurants which makes tracking quick and easy

• Seeing the calorie content makes me take a closer look at the food I eat and the portion sizes. I am much less likely to overindulge if I know what a portion looks like or that the entire appetizer is 960cal (This happened today and I nearly fell off my chair. I didn't but proceeded to eat a 1/4 and "donated" the rest to The Boyfriend)

• The tool has a Blackberry App so I can continue to track on the go. (The App is available for iPhone also)

I would honestly recommend this to anyone who want to track their eating and exercise habits for the short or long term. And while I would gather that many people are attracted to the tool for weight loss purposes I genuinely believe it can be beneficial for so much more then that.

Not everyone has pounds to lose but I do believe the vast majority of people could benefit from a closer inspection of the food that they eat for all the aspects of nutrition, calories included or not.

That said, I would not recommend this to anyone that has dealt with certain patterns of disordered eating as I fear that it could be a trigger for severe restriction.

My plan is to use the tool for a least a month in order to adopt the habits associated with eating the rights foods and enough (but not too much) of them.

 I will say that I am struggling with some binge eating issues (I discussed them here in the past) that I will address in future blog posts but this is a positive step in the right direction for me to get back on track with respects to my eating patterns.

I will update you in a month with my experiences using this tool and the impact it has had on my health-focused lifestyle.


So tell me, do you track your food intake or exercise? How do you feel about weight loss in the blog world?


*Please note that these are my honest opinions about the online application My Fitness Pal. I am not affiliated with the product or company and do not receive compensation for using or reviewing the application

I'm Too Sexy For My ,,,,

First off I want to take a moment and thank you all for your comments on my last post. I am flattered, I really really am!! There was a day when a bikini photo wouldn't have been taken let alone posted to the Internet for anyone to see. I am glad I have gotten to this point. Jena said it best: It's empowering.

Seeing all of your comments coming in really got me thinking about self confidence (mine and others) and where it comes from. In the past, my own confidence came from (near) perfection. If I got an A+ on a paper I felt great. If I won a public speaking competition or was top of my class I felt proud and held my head high. If in someone else's estimation I was the funniest/smartest/prettiest girl I would smile ear to ear. On those days I was confident.

On the days when I wasn't the funniest, didn't get the best grade or found out I'd gotten a few questions wrong on an exam my confidence took a nose dive. But why? Only days earlier I was on top of the world. How could a 90% test score or someone else being called the most attractive girl in school change all that?

Perspective.

You see it was never about what it meant to be the best so much as how I viewed not being the best. The errors, the room for improvement, the good but not good enough. Even when I did well I would dwell on how I could have done better. And it has literally robbed me of so much pride and joy that I should have taken in the accomplishments that I have made.

Now is my chance to change all that. As I said yesterday I am not at my ideal weight but that doesn't mean that I can't be happy with the way I look or feel. If I focus on the positives (I love my curves in a sassy dress) instead of the negatives (I wish I had slimmer thighs) I am a happier girl without losing a single pound!

Similarly I can choose to look at what I am doing to get ready for my upcoming 1/2 marathon (super hydrating. eating a variety of wholesome food, cross training) instead of obsessing about all the miles I didn't run or hills I didn't train on. Race day will come either way so its up to me to decide how I want to feel about it when it gets here.

Realistically my life was never and will never be perfect. There will be bumps in the road, I will fall down and get back up, I will make mistakes, come in 2nd (or 302nd) and fly under the radar. Slowly but surely I am learning that its more than fine to be a work in progress. I'm perfectly imperfect and and that's is fine by me.

And if all else fails, I get an A+ in sass. Heck, I've got some to share if you're interested!!

So tell me, what makes you feel confident? Go ahead and brag!

Healthy Living on Vacation: How Did I Do??

You may recall that I wrote a post outlining my approach to healthy living while on vacation prior to leaving for Cuba. In it I detailed that while I was on vacation I was not completely abandoning all the key elements of a healthy lifestyle like nutritious eats and physical activity.

So how did I do with that you ask?

Ok. Not great, not terrible.

I did run, albeit it was once and only 25 minutes but I still made the effort to lace up my sneakers and get out there.

I ate healthy foods like fresh fruit, vegetables, fish, chicken and rice.

I definitely relaxed..by the pool..on the beach..in the hotel lobby...in my room...pretty much everywhere I could! I read trashy gossip magazines, started a new book and caught up with my best friend. In the relaxation department I think I get top marks!


On the flip side I also ate not so healthy things like donuts, chocolate and ice cream. But c'mon, it was free and unlimited! Whats a girl to do really?

I also drank more then I needed to and paid the price big time. I don't have any photos to share of that moment...you're welcome for that!

And I ended up with health issues has a result of not taking proper care of my self and my eyes. Stupid mistake and one that I can't afford to make again. Seeing is kind of a big deal to me!!

If you ever take any of my advice (despite any medical certification or training) please remember to take out your contact lenses when you sleep. Hypoxia is a scary, painful and inconvenient thing. Take my word for it.

So yes, there were lessons learned on this vacation such as: one tequila, two tequila three tequila...you're sick as a dog and will miss the much awaited trip on a catamaran. But even more importantly I came back with a refreshed perspective and the knowledge that I need to:

• take more time to relax on a regular basis and not wait for an annual vacation to decompress.

• accept the things I cannot change. To put it bluntly, shit happens. Sometimes you can't do anything but go with it.

• embrace who you are right now. I'm not at my ideal weight and all my pants are a little snug but I am confident and I feel good about the me that I am and that I will be. Getting back on track with my healthy little life will only add to that sentiment. But for now I am comfortable enough to post a *gasp* bathing suit picture and not care who see it or what he/she might think about it either!!

Self-love as a souvenir? I'll take it!


So tell me, whats the best thing you ever brought home from vacation?