10/5/09

+5 lbs!! Oh f@#&!!

So the title of this post probably makes me sound both shocked and appalled to have discovered that I have gained weight after hitting and maintaining what I like to call my "good enough for now" weight last May. The truth is while I am appalled, very, VERY appalled, I am not really all that shocked. I poked, prodded and teased the Weight Gain Gods and they finally had enough of my antics.
You see I didn't lose The Weight (its become an entity of its own, as you will see in a future post) in the good old fashioned "eat less and exercise more" way that would hopefully teach me a lesson or two about the lifestyle that I would need to maintain it. I lost it due to stress and anxiety as a result of a personal problem late last winter. Food became unnecessary and unimportant by comparison and just like that, in less than 2 1/2 months I found myself lighter then I had been in years. Sure I had been exercising ( I even joined a Fitness Bootcamp) but the real contributing factor was that I just couldn't be bothered to eat on a regular basis.
Once the weight was off and I moved past the personal problem I was noticeably thinner and desperate to stay that way. And I did, for months, even with a cheat day here and there thrown in.
Okay who am I kidding? I cheated and I cheated often. I had doughnuts and potato chips and McDonalds and even though I felt guilty I found a way to justify it. "I'm on vacation" I thought. "I had a hard day" I muttered. There were excuses for every cheat and while some were better then others none were every really good enough.
And the most amazing thing of all was that despite the burgers and movie popcorn and cheesecake I wasn't gaining any weight.
Let me tell you that this lack of weight gain only bred more cheat days because by God I was getting away with it! My body, with its fiercly strong quads and noticeable-in-photos biceps, was burning through these extra calories and I had nothing to worry about.
Or so I thought.
Now I am sitting here 5lbs heavier then I want to be (well if I must be honest I am 15lbs heavier then I want to be but more about that another time) and I am looking back on the bad choices and thinking "Who the hell do I think I am??" Obviously it was going to start to catch up to me, thats how I got in the overweight position in the bloody first place! It was only a matter of time and now my time is up!
You might wonder why I am so upset. You might even be thinking "Hey lady get a grip! Its only 5 freakin' pounds!!" But hear me out. 5lbs is where it starts for every person who finds him/herself pissed off as they fail to fit into every single non-drawstring waisted pair of pants that they own. And I refuse, absolutely REFUSE, to go back there. This is where it stops!
They say that for every action there is a reaction and this is mine:
Action-Gained 5 lbs because I ate too much sh*t
Reaction- Stop eating so much sh*t (keep track by keeping a food diary) and get to the gym at least 4 or 5 times a week until the dreaded 5 are no more.
Its my plan and I am sticking to it! Stayed tuned.......

2 comments:

  1. Oh, that's always a horrible feeling. Attack it now cause it does have a habit of multiplying :P Here's to healthy living and leaving the peanut butter alone...lol

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  2. I just found your blog through another one. I love the "voice" you carry through. Although you are going through similar stuff to all of us weight "losers", you are funny! I need a little humor in my life, so thanks! :)

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