Ending It

When I first met you everything seemed so amazing! Anything was possible! You and I were meant to be!

I thought we'd be together for a long time-forever was a real possibility back then.

It just seemed right.

Until it didn't.

Did you change or was it me? Or maybe neither of us did. Maybe we are the same as we always were and our incompatibility was overlooked because of infatuation and hope.

I thought we could reconcile after our first separation and I tried my best to start over but there is something that just doesn't work about you and me.

Truthfully I feel better without you.

Truthfully you've already been replaced.

And you know what, I know you are probably pretty close to perfect- that many others will love you- you're just destined for someone else. Someone who will appreciate you to your full potential. Someone who isn't like me.

You make me obsessive. You made me make poor choices. You make me a little bit nuts.

I hate that and I refuse to live like that and that is why I have to go.

Thanks for the time we had. For what its worth I learned a lot about me from you. That is valuable and will never be forgotten. You changed me and who I am today because and in spite of you is something pretty great.

I wish you nothing but the best and I have no hard feelings.

I'd say we should be friends but that never works. Instead I will just admire you from a far.

Take care,

Sam

It's official, I have broken off my relationship with My Fitness Pal. It's for the best and the split was amicable. We're both doing fine.



So tell me, what bad for you habit have you broken up with lately?

Dating a Healthy Living Blogger (Guest Post)

Have you ever asked yourself what it's like to be on the other side of the "healthy living blogger" coin? To be a part of that life without directly living it day in and day out?

Well tonight you are about to find out.

If you've been around for a while (or even a few days) you've heard me mention The Boyfriend, otherwise known as my biggest fan. He has watched me transform my life over the last two years and has bravely endured the ups, downs and in betweens along the way.

Here's a closer look at what it's like to be my other half (bless his heart!)

So you are dating a healthy living blogger huh? How has that affected you and your lifestyle?

For the most most part its been really positive. I eat better now, I am starting to get back to my old active self and thanks to reading her daily posts my reading skills have gone way up! (I'm kidding...well, sort of) I've even caught myself contemplating my own food choices which is not something I ever did before. My dinner plate actually has vegetables on it as opposed to three different kinds of red meat and while I miss the abundance of steak I can safely say that my cholesterol levels welcome the change!!


Is there any part of her healthy lifestyle that you find particularly challenging or annoying?

I find it a little challenging to reconcile the results that she produces with her expectations. I want her to be happy with her accomplishments but sometimes she is too hard on herself and overlooks those things because she is focusing on what  she could have done better. Its annoying to see her do so much and not have the same level of pride that I do. I would be overjoyed if I could run a 5k at this point and yet she sometimes forgets how far she has come and how amazing it is that she can.


What do you like best about someone who has such a focus on her health and well being?

I love the dedication to enjoying life. I recognize that happiness and health play a huge role in living life to the fullest and I am glad that she takes these steps every single day. In a way, its kind of contagious. When she's happy I'm happy (as they say, happy wife, happy life right?)

I really like that we can go for a hike or a bike ride together and that I know she enjoys it. She even helped me build a fire pit and its awesome that she's not shy to get a little sweaty or dirty.

Tell us the truth, do you really like going to races and being a cheerleader? How about conversations about running/blogging/health trends?

Ok to be honest going to races and cheer leading are still "shoes I am trying to break in", shall we say. 6am Saturdays and Sundays can be difficult, to say the least. On the flip side I have been known to catch a little of that game day buzz and its exciting as well. I do worry about how demanding she can be of herself ..."I could have sworn she said this was fun for her!". And as dumb as it might sound I worry about injury. I quit hockey because I couldn't afford to hurt myself anymore. Running 10, 15, 21, 30, 42 kilometres? I am tired and sore just thinking about it. I just want her to be safe...and all in one piece!

The conversations about blogging, running and health trends are a little over my head. While I admire it, I can't quite grasp the punishment runners put themselves through. I am learning a lot about how to stay on top of things with my own diet and physical maintenance from it, which is a bonus! And she doesn't give me too hard of a time when my eyes glaze over during some of the more random blogging stories...I guess that's because hers do the same during hockey talk. Now trying to keep her blog friends and her "real life" friends straight? That's a whole other story...


What is one piece of healthy living advice you wish she would take from you?


The only advice I dare give out is hydrate (Sam, go drink some water...like now ok?) AND don't be so hard on yourself. Take pride in the incredible things you have accomplished and the goals that you have set for yourself, always looking to improve.


Do you plan to take up running, yoga or spinning after hearing so much about it?


Running and spinning are too hard on my old knees. I may try Yogurtys some day....wait, you said yoga right?? Errr......



What is your favorite healthy meal that she forces  encourages you to eat?

I really like vegetarian chili and homemade pasta sauce which are both remarkably good despite the lack of meat of any kind *tear*

What words of encouragement/support do you want to share with her and all healthy living bloggers like her right now?


The only encouragement I have for all of you, and I am no rocket scientist, is ...go drink some water!! Oh, and keep up the good work because you frickin' rock!!

Sam: You inspire me and have no doubt already added back years to my life by saving me from my own appetites. As a wise man once said "the significance of our lives is derived from our own wisdom and courage". You have both those qualities in spades. I am proud of you and I love you.

P.S, go drink some frickin' water!!!




So tell me, how do the fans in your life help support your healthy life style

Marathon Training Week Eleven- When It All Falls Apart

This is not the post that I wanted to write. I've had to write one like this before-hated it then, hate it even more now.  But if there is one thing that I have learned along the way its that sometimes when you have to emotionally dig deep, there is a lesson to be learned. A lesson which was learned the hard way, as many good lessons are.

Before I jump into it, here's a look at last week's training:

Monday: Cycle Pump (1hour 15min)
Tuesday: Rest
Wednesday: 5km run
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Rest
Saturday: 22km run
Sunday: Recovery

Total Distance Ran: 29km

Here's the story:

Sometimes you can do everything right, like for-going the third drink at the wedding, scaling back on training during a taper, drinking lots of water and getting a lot of rest and things can still go terribly, terribly wrong.

I went into the MidSummer Night's Run with the most humble of intentions: to finish the run.

30km, especially given my training thus far, is a force to be reckoned with. And like anything of that magnitude I had the utmost respect. I did not expect it to be easy. I thought I was prepared.

500 metres into the race it became obvious that my body did not agree.

Extreme abdominal cramping like I have never felt before.

Despite my best effort to push through it and control my breathing I had to drop to the side and try to catch my breath. Less than half a kilometre into the race and I was already walking. Not a good sign.

It was humid- that kind of humid that amasses before a storm and makes the air feel thick. That kind of humid that it even worse then beating sun, which would have been a welcomed alternative.

I tried my best to maintain my speed and keep up with the pace group but I was over taken by unavoidable cramping and had to let them go. My heart sunk as they gained more and more distance on me and I knew that I was struggling more then I could have imagined.

It was only the sixth kilometre.

I pushed when I could, tried to steady my breath and pull air deep into my diaphragm but the emotional damage had been done. I was feeling defeated and I wasn't even a third of the way in. Twenty two more kilometres might as well have been a thousand. Impossible is impossible whichever way you look at it.

Text message to the Boyfriend: "I can't do this"

I plodded on for another twenty minutes seriously considering dropping out. I knew I was about to see the Boyfriend and desperately wanted it to be over. Until I didn't. I managed to get into a steady, albeit slow, pace and the cramping had partially subsided and I started to believe that I maybe, just maybe I could do it.

I wanted to believe it.

When I reached the Boyfriend I ditched my running belt, waved off what was supposed to be a "look how happy I am to be running this race" photo and plodded on. The next leg of the race was a gruelling out and back on a thin slice of land with no option to give up. It was exactly what I needed and the worse thing possible all at the same time.

The cramping returned in full force after only a kilometre. The water on the course was warm. The breeze was thick and hot. I was completely miserable.

I pushed when I could, wanting to keep running and becoming increasingly frustrated because I couldn't. I didn't even need to regain my original pace- all I wanted was to finish the race. Nothing is more infuriating then willing your body to cooperate and coming up empty.

The time on the Leslie St. Spit seemed endless. I was tired, disappointed, in pain, hot and confused. I was running south for what seemed like forever and grew more weary as the minutes ticked by. How far could I possibly have left to go before the turnaround? How was I so far behind the pace group who had passed me on their way back? There was no way I would make it to the 21km checkpoint before the cutoff. I was done.

Except I had turned without even realizing it. And that realization was so small but yet big enough to renew my hope that however slowly it would be, I'd get through it.

Until the pain mounted again and I was forced to jog so slowly that I was being passed by speed walkers. I couldn't speed up and I was too panicked by the time to slow down. 135 minutes of pain and I wasn't anywhere near the finish line that I so desperately craved.

I wanted to cross that finish line more then anything in the world at that moment.

Tears started to flow. I was so angry and so frustrated that I couldn't help it. Eleven more kilometres seemed so impossible. I tried to tell myself that I had already made it nineteen but I didn't need reminding. The heavy ache in my legs was enough to know that I had come that far. And that going the rest of the way would be more rough then I could really imagine.

Pain in my abdomen. Pain in my chest. Pain in my legs and feet.

And then the hardest thoughts crept it. "Just quit. This is torture. No one should put themself through this"

I wanted to fight those thoughts and I did my best but at 21 kilometres and the news that the water station had run out of water I gave in. Even my walking had slowed down. I had ignored the sign to stick to the right and just kept trudging ahead, tired and crying and wanting to be away from this race, this nightmare.

I saw the Boyfriend, who had come to look for me when he realized something must be wrong, and bawled my eyes out. I heaved and sobbed for every step I had taken that was now for nothing. I wasn't finishing the race. I was giving up. I was a quitter.

But, and its a big but, I realized that I am not a quitter at all.

I did not finish the race but I endured more of a  physical struggle and mental challenge then I have ever gone through. For three hours of my life I fought through pain, discomfort and a gauntlet of negative emotion because I was determined not to let it go unless I absolutely had to.

At 8:30 last night I had to.

I am disappointed that I didn't complete the race, that I don't have a shiny medal to hang with the rest of them but I also know, as I sit here with sore legs and tell the story I didn't want to tell, that I had the courage to start and that means something.

I could choose to focus on the 8 kilometres I didn't run- the 8 that are the difference between a finisher's medal and a DNF- but instead I will focus on the 22 before that.

I can't get down on myself about 22 kilometres. Two years ago that distance was only a dream to me. And yesterday, however slowly, however begrudgingly, I covered the space against the odds that were against me.

I would have been proud if I had run a great race and gotten my PDR. But the absence of that milestone only means that I am proud in a different way.

I pushed myself when I could but I also recognized when going on was no longer an option. In the face of failure I decided I had another option: To not view not finishing as failure at all.

Will there be other races? Hopefully. But today isn't the day for me to make that decision. Today I will just try to forget the hurt but always remember the lessons that I learned the hard way.

Thank you for being there with me through this journey and this story.


So tell me, have you ever had to give on something that you wanted only to gain more from the defeat?

A Wedding and Some Pre-Race Ramblings....

As I mentioned yesterday I had the honor of being a guest the wedding of a longtime friend of the Boyfriend's (who I also know from high school). It was a beautiful day for that kind of occasion and on top of being lucky to have one another, I'd say the happy couple had a lot of  good fortune on their side!

The bride and groom looked gorgeous and were glowing with love and happiness. Don't you just love how you can feel the adoration at a wedding? I think that is pretty much my favorite part!

Oh and the food. This was an Italian/Peruvian wedding so the food was in abundance and it was absolutely amazing!! Everything from the yummy anti-pasto bar to the incredible dessert table was fantastic and kudos to the banquet hall for providing the best vegetarian main course I have ever had at an event (eggplant Parmesan...to die for!!)

And because I am running a crazy long race today (hello 30km or as the Boyfriend says, the 30,000 metre dash!) I only had a martini and a beer and then chugged water for the rest of the night. The discipline I exerted with chocolate martinis floating around every was astonishing!

The sweet table is another story. That was carb loading though *wink*

Speaking of the race, as I sit here typing this I am 5 hours away from the start time and starting to get that mix of excitement/nervousness. Thoughts running through my head are ranging anywhere from:

• What the heck do I eat before a night race??
• Holy sh*t its hot out there today!
• 30km? Am I really running this??
• 30km, I am totally running this!!
• I wonder if the Boyfriend will bring me Cherry Blasters at the 20km mark??

The afternoon is going to be spent relaxing, trying to get some easily digested carbs into my body and packing for the race. I am pretty picky about that last one because there is nothing worse then getting to a race and realizing you forgot something (and with how nervous I get I wouldn't be surprised if I forgot shoes!!)


Next time we meet I will have a story to tell one way or the other. Fingers crossed that its a happy tale of a great race experience and a new PDR.

Wish me luck!!

(Also running the race are Cynthia and Aneta...go wish them luck too while you are at it!)



So tell me, what's your favorite part of a wedding? Are you running any races this weekend or coming up soon?

Marathon Training Week Ten- Considering Some Options

As I write this I am still battling a flu that hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. Being down and out and once again unable to train for the marathon has given me a lot to think about with respect to running. While I haven't made any concrete decisions since writing this, I have been weighing some of my options.

First let's look at a run down of last week's training:

Monday: Cycle Pump (75 minutes)
Tuesday: Rest day
Wednesday: Triple Threat (20 min sprints, 20 minute strength circuit, 20 min spin sprints)
Thursday: Rest day
Friday: Spinning (50 min) Hot Yoga (60 min)
Saturday: Rest day
Sunday: Sick day

Total distance ran: 3km

Here's what's been on my mind:

I'm not caring for my body as well as I should. I definitely need to hydrate more, sleep better and stress less. Despite all the things I do to focus on health, I am lacking in three major areas.

One major reason that I don't like running these days is because I don't feel like I am getting better at it, at least not the way I hoped. Not training enough and failing to put water back into my body are not helping the cause at all. I need to get my act together if I am going to continue to do this.

I'm not sure if I want to run the 30km race I have planned for this Saturday. There may be the option to drop down to 15km and actually feel accomplished (and alive) at the end. But, on the other hand, if I run it I will set a PDR and hopefully renew my passion for this training program. Sure, it could also go in the other direction and I'll dislike running even more but at this point I'm not sure I have a lot to lose.

Running is hard for me and I really don't like when things are hard for me. It's another big reason why I am not improving and disliking it more and more each day. I compare myself to other runners and get frustrated that I am not as good as them; that I might never be as good. I know you are supposed to run for yourself but its hard to measure success without a gauge and unfortunately that barometer is other people sometimes.

Not everyone is meant to run a marathon. I am quite sure I am one of those people. Yet, because I signed up and committed to it I don't want to give up on it either. It's tough to decide whether giving up this dream is the best or worst idea for me. To be honest, I am not even sure it is a dream anymore. I've still got a lot of thinking to do on that one...


Thoughts this Week: It's funny that I expected marathon training to be physically tough but so far it's proven to be more of a mental/emotion challenge for me. If nothing else I will learn a lot about myself, which is one of the reasons that I signed up in the first place.


Well I'm off to drink about 17 litres of water and try to get a good night's sleep. If you need me I'll be in bed... or the bathroom.




So tell me, what is one thing you could do to improve your health right now? Do you like a challenge or would you rather do something you are good at?

A Letter to My Sixteen Year Old Self

I lied, I do have a post tonight. I saw it here and was inspired. What can I say, I will always write when creativity strikes...

Dear Sam,

You are 16 right now and even though it doesn't always seem that way, you've got a really great life.

Be nicer to your mother. She loves you and will stick by you through some of the hardest moments to come. She'll also need you during her own hard times. You will get through it all together. She'll become one of your best friends.

Stop trying to be so grown up. Be carefree and enjoy being a kid. Laugh more. Worry less. Smile all the time (braces aren't so bad)

Take up a sport. You'll be glad you did.

Stop dieting. You are beautiful just the way you are.

You know that boy who broke your heart and made you cry? He loves you. Twelve years from now you'll find out just how much. He'll be a better boyfriend at that point then now anyway so be glad you skipped this part.

Smile.

Do things that are hard. Take more science classes. Don't give up. Avoid the easy road. Perservere.

Stop smoking. You aren't cooler for doing it. And you stink.

Take more pictures. You'll love having these memories to look back on.

Don't spend $400 on your prom dress. You can't afford it and you'd look just as pretty in a $50 dress

Smile.

Listen to your father and save money. And when those credit card companies come calling in two years, say no!!

Invent a gadget that plays songs, takes pictures, can be used as a phone and has a game called Angry Birds. Hold out on selling that patent until the big spenders come calling.

Always remember that in the days a head, when things seem so hard that you are sure that the world is ending, it isn't. There are always rainbows after every storm..you just have to look for them.

You are a great person who only stands to get better. Love yourself and strive to be the best version of you every day.

XOXO,
Me

Thank you.....

I don't have a post tonight but wanted to to say thank you to all of you who took the time to read my last post and share your kind words of insights and support with me.

I can't explain how much it means to me to know that despite these difficulties, I am not alone.

You are truly an amazing group of people.

Thank you.

Marathon Training Week Nine- When Feelings Change

I will start this post off by saying that I have spent the better part of today thinking about whether I should write it and then the last hour or so whether I could. It's hard to reach deep inside and talk about our struggles but I also believe that it is through those conversations that we become stronger; that we learn more about ourselves and who we want to be. So I will write this in the only way I know how: honest and real.

Here's how training went last week:

Monday: Rest
Tuesday: 11.5km run
Wednesday: 1 hour 15min Cycle Pump class
Thursday: 6.5km run
Friday: 1 hour 15min Cycle Pump class
Saturday: 23km long run
Sunday: 50 min spin class

Total distance ran: 41km

My struggle:

I don't know if I want to "be a runner" anymore.

It's not that I don't want to lace up my sneakers and pound out a few kilometres ever again. I just don't know if I want to be associated with a runner's club that I don't quite feel like I belong to.

I'm not sure why, but that membership now feel a bit fraudulent.

The truth is I don't really like running at least not in the way that I feel I should to dedicate so much time and energy to it.

You know things have shifted when you've described it as torture.

I have stopped feeling as accomplished as I used to and nowadays there is less and less to counteract the feelings of boredom and discomfort that come from the sport.

I ran my longest distance ever and had to force enthusiasm to get rid of feelings of inadequacy and disappointment that were generated by the thought that I should have done better, gone faster, pushed harder.

I felt like I let myself down. And I bawled my eyes out about it.

Then I got up this morning, looked at my schedule for the day and realized I was signed up for a 10:30am spin class. And I was ecstatic! I couldn't wait to get there and sweat my ass off for an hour. I literally craved the exhaustion and the burn and the feeling of satisfaction that I knew I would get once it was over.

It was everything I hoped for and more. I almost teared up in the middle of class because as I dug deep and felt that sweat literally dripping from my face I remembered that all those feelings of "not enough" were misguided. I will give it my all if it is in my heart and soul to do it. So what's the problem?

Running no longer equals passion for me.

One things I know is this; If, at the end of my life I were to measure the quality of the years gone by it would not be by the number of kilometres ran but the days spent smiling and truly happy.

So the question I struggle with remains. If running doesn't make me happy (and other things do) why do I bother to run?

Am I afraid to give up?

To be seen as a failure? By someone else? By myself?

I do not know.

I don't know what I thought that I would get to the end of this post and have the answers. It's not the sort of thing you truly figure out in the course of an hour, a day or maybe even a lifetime. Happiness is the constant, the cause is bound to change, grow and evolve.

I'm not sure what this means for the marathon. Odds are I will move ahead with the training and try to achieve my goal. That being said, I will not live in misery for a goal that, by the sheer fact that the path to get there became so bleak, will have lost it's meaning anyway.

To be continued.....



So tell me, do you have any advice? Is this burnout? Has something similar ever happened to you? If yes, what did you do?

Water for Elephants and a Giveaway!

If there is one thing that I have learned through marathon training, becoming an overall healthier person, getting my heart broken and having a kidney infection, its that sometimes life is tough. But tough in a good, because I am teaching you valuable lessons and you'll be so much stronger for it, kind of way.

Like today for example: I kicked my own butt at the gym with a 70 minute spinning/circuit workout that left my muscles shaking.

It was tough but good. Oh so good.

Sometimes you gotta deal with the tough part to get to the good part.

Want another example?

Water for Elephants.

This book hurt my heart. Its so poignantly well written that I couldn't help but feel for the characters in a way that literally made me cry. The story was so real in fact, that I kept turning to the back cover to check if it was non-fiction.

I won't go into the details for those of you who haven't read it but I will say that because there were animals involved, it went from sad to gut wrenching for me. If you follow me on Twitter you know I had a really hard time with this book, almost to the point that I stopped reading it. I was so bothered and yet I couldn't walk away from it.

And therein lies the lesson. I had to deal with the tough parts because the end result-a beautiful story- was worth all the difficulty it took to get there.

Don't you just love how fiction can imitate life like that?

Other books that I have read that were a worthwhile challenge to finish:

Madness (Marnya Hornbacher)
The Glass Castle (Jeannette Walls)
An Unquiet Mind and Nothing Was the Same (Kay Redfield Jamison)
The Book of Negroes (Lawrence Hill)
Lucky (Alice Sebold)

Each of these stories , no matter how hard to read, need to be told for one reason or another. The message will touch you, and in many ways change you, the way only good literature can.

And on that note I want to share them with you.

Giveaway

One lucky reader will win a copy of Water for Elephants and her/his choice of one (1) of the books listed above OR two of the books listed above (if the winner has already read Water for Elephants)

How to Enter

1. Leave a comment recommending a book that really touched you (required)

Additional entries

1. Tweet the contest and leave me a separate comment letting me know that you did it

2. Like Health, Happiness & Skinny Jeans on Facebook and leave a separate comment letting me know that you did it.

The giveaway is open until Friday at 11:59EST.
Residents of the US and Canada are eligible to participate.

The winner will be announced Saturday morning.

Good luck...and hey, just in case you don't win, go buy or borrow all those books any way. They are so worth it!

So tell me, what book(s) have really left an impact on you?

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored giveaway. I am not being paid to review the books nor have they been provided to me. I am sponsoring the giveaway of my own valition.

TMI- How Much is Too Much?

I love blogging. The freedom to create a niche and make it your own is refreshing and liberating. It's a chance to create something that is truly yours in whatever form you choose.

Well, within reason I suppose...

I've shared my opinion on blogging etiquette and do's and don'ts in the past ( you can read about that here and here) but tonight I want to delve into the topic of oversharing, taboo topics and the infamous TMI (too much information)

As I blogger I set out my own guidelines for where I "draw the line", so to speak. I learned a lot from other bloggers and got a feel for what I was comfortable with sharing. I know instantly if I feel weird about posting something and before I hit publish I ask myself a few questions:

• Is the theme of the post in keeping with the overall theme of my blog? Will people expect this from me?
• What is the purpose of sharing this information? Am I trying to make people laugh or is there more to it then that?
• Will people understand the humour and the direction I am going in based on previous posts and the tone of my writing?
• Would I cringe if my mom read it? How about my boss? How about my boss's mom?
• Will sharing a story help someone? Am I discussing a tough topic that should be discussed?

Things I don't think about when I'm considering a blog post:

• Will I lose readers?

Now don't get me wrong...I love my readers! Every single person who takes time out of their busy life to read what I have to say is a complete and utter rockstar in my eyes. The point that I am making is that I write what I think and the readers I want are the ones who appreciate that. You don't always have to agree with me but I want you to value my right to an opinion as I value yours.

And hey, call me out if you think I've crossed a line. I am totally okay with that because I am also okay will explaining myself, my rationale and my intentions. I'm all for healthy and candid discussions that go both ways (that's what the comments sections is for!)

Some of my favorite blogs have discussed fertility, birth control and family planning , the Diva Cup (all Caitlin by the way) runners' trots, unwashed hair and clothing, run ins with rude stinky men and their sex life (in great detail). I'm not shy but I also know that if something makes me a little uneasy I can click away. Its my choice what to read much the same as its a bloggers choice what to write.

For the record, things that will never make it onto my blog:

• Details about my family and friends and their personal lives/health etc. unless they grant me permission to discuss it
• My sex life (innuendo is all you're getting people!!)
• Details about the company I work for
• Personal information that could jeopardize my safety

Otherwise its fair game. I'm gonna talk about my good days and my bad ones. I'll probably talk about chafing and sweat and how much I stink. I'll even mention poop (if for no other reason then to write the word poop!) Someday I may talk about marriage or heartbreak (although hopefully the former not the latter) and my role as a wife and mother (and then I get to talk poop all the time!) Its my blog and the intention is to be REAL. I can't say it enough. If there was one way to sum up my blogging mandate its this:

Be as real as possible. Never compromise integrity. Always be honest, even when its scary. Be open. Share.

So really the point is that I believe everyone defines their own TMI threshold. And if I can appreciate it for what its worth I am always going to look past the "Omigod did she just write that" and love your blog just the same! (Or potentially more...ahem, Cely!)

I hope you'll do the same for me too.


So tell me, do you have a TMI threshold? How much is too much to you?

The Work Trap

The other day I came across an article (that I now can't find the link for...grr!) detailing how working in an office can be detrimental to your health. For obvious reasons (aka: I work in an office) this caught my attention and got me thinking....

Could this be an issue for me?

Overall I like to think I am a pretty health focused individual but could I be caught in the trap without even knowing?

There are definitely some potentials:

1. I sit at a desk or in a meeting room for most of my day. Given that a work week is 40+ hours that's a lot of time parked on my butt.

2. The never ending cycle of office potlucks, birthday celebrations and otherwise unhealthy fare that makes its way into the fold. All that tempting food is hard to turn down when it's everywhere, all the time.

3. Recycled air. Studies have shown that air inside a building can be substantially dirtier then the air outside. Pollutants from air conditioning and bacteria plaoting around can pose health risks for some people. Source

4. Germs. Sharing office equipment and working with dedicated people who battle through colds and flus at work can expose me to viruses and bacteria that can wreak havoc on my overall health.

5. Stress. Working under pressure to meet deadlines and solve issues as they crop up certainly weigh on me both mentally and physically.



So how do I combat this possible problems since winning the lottery and retiring by 30 isn't quite panning out the way I had planned?

1. Get up and walk around when I can. Instead of sending emails or making phone calls I try to get up and go talk to people when I have time. Not only does it get me moving but the face to face interaction is a nice break from staring at a computer screen all day.

2. Pack a healthy lunch and stock my drawers with healthy snacks. It's a lot easier to say no to the slice of birthday cake when you aren't starving and looking for a 3pm pick me up.

3. Make friends with the healthy coworkers who encourage active living and keep me motivated. Its much harder to skip a workout when someone is standing at your desk with her gym bag, ready to go for a run.

4. Take the stairs. It doesn't seem like a big deal but any extra physical activity sure can't hurt!

5. Use the work gym. It's in the building and its free. How could I say no?

6. Make a healthy lifestyle a priority. There are a 168 hours in a week, meaning that 128 of them aren't spent at work. That's a lot of time to make up for all the desk sitting, dirty air breathing, stress accumulation that takes place.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a LottoMax ticket to check...

So tell me, is your job a healthy living hazard? How do you avoid the trap?

Ode to a Runner's Boyfriend

There is something extra special about a man who will....



See this face and think "beauty" not "tomato head"

Watch this and not run from your assumed masochist ways

Keep quiet about the fact that, while you once smelled nice most of the time, these days you kinda stink

Accept that workout gear accessorized with a headband is dressed up now

Deal with the fact that a 6am wake up call for a Sunday long run usually means a 6:15 "have you seen my keys/running belt/iPod?" wake up call for him

Accept that this is considered a hairstyle (and that taking pictures of that back of your own head is really, really hard)

Understand that taking a "shot" doesn't have the same meaning it once did

Come to terms with that fact that you'd rather spend money on races than pedicures because the polish just rubs off any way. He won't even hide your flip flops when things start getting really "rough"

Learn to be okay with the fact that you are certifiably obsessed with your cats. (Okay so that's more a me thing then a running thing but its special all the same)



For everything you do, this one is for you.

Wait, I feel like I am ripping off a commercial or something...

Hmm..

Oh screw it...thanks times a million and yeah, I love you lots and lots and all that stuff.

Isn't love grande??

So tell me, what does your partner or family put up with because they love you?

A Change Will Do You Good..

I briefly mentioned it in previous post, and while I don't often mention too much about what it is that I do between the hours of 9am-5pm, I thought I should revisit the fact that I was recently promoted (Yippee!)

Why? Well other than liking the idea of sharing good news on my blog it also effects my workout schedule pretty significantly. In the past I was able to work out on my lunch breaks, which meant running with co-workers,  teaching classes like Cycle Pump and Tabata Circuit and having lots of time for the rest of my life once the day as over.

Needless to say, lunchtime workouts were a huge bonus in my life.

Now, due to a heavy meeting schedule, I can't fit it in during the day, which leaves me with two options: Get up early or find the motivation (and time) to go after work.

Lately after work is winning because I deeply value the extra sleep but depending on the day (or what cool stuff is happening in the evening) I may make a few pre-work trips to the gym too.

What isn't changing is that fact that I am going to go the gym. No. I will go. And you will make me. Do we have a deal??

It also means a change to my rest day(s). Since I clearly have more time to sweat it out on the weekend now I am no longer planning to rest on Saturdays. Instead I will do biking or spinning (like today) and rest Friday when I am wiped from a long week at work and not wanting to hit the gym at the end of the day.

Change happens. I'm rolling with it.

Speaking of change, I decided to give myself a little makeover:

People are always telling me to lighten up...they meant my hair right??

I thought so too.

You know what's not changing but should? This heat wave! I hate to be the girl that complains about summer but c'mon! There's hot and then there is this. I am not down for this.

Heat? Humidity? Doesn't Mother Nature know I am training for a marathon?? Gimme a break would ya!

And to think there are people who are all "I love this weather...summer rocks!"

Some people's interests are so self-motivated. Sheeesh! *wink*


So tell me, what's the best change you've made recently? Do you hate the extreme heat or are you weird and actually enjoying it?

No Regrets....

So I know I haven't talked about it in a while, nor did I give you the promised update on my progress since I signed up for My Fitness Pal a few months ago (I am such a lying jerk, I know!) and because I suspect you have all been just waiting on the edge of your seats, here it is:

I haven't lost a freakin' pound.

Alright that's another lie (its becoming compulsive!)

I lost 5lbs in the first two weeks, got lazy and careless, stopped using the tool altogether and gained the 5 back. Then I gained a few more for good measure.

Not exactly the game plan.

That was in May. Now that its mid July (holy crap where is the summer going!) I am really starting to feel like I let myself down on this one. Too many excuses, too many I'll start tomorrow's and here I am at my "not happy weight" and regretting that I let it get here ....again.

In the words of Karen Lamb:

A year from now you may wish you had started today

On other (Sam) words:

What the hell are you waiting for??

I know that if left to my habits from the past few months I would definitely be wishing I had started something today. So instead of giving myself 365 days to build up some really crushing regret I'm just going to go ahead and start today.

Or rather Monday. As in last Monday.

As of the beginning of the week I am back on My Fitness Pal and keeping track of my food intake and exercise. I am focusing on wholesome food and portion control as well as maintaining my typical activity level in the hopes that I can shed some of the excess weight that is literally bogging me down.

And yes I am still the girl that loves herself at any size. That hasn't changed at all. On the flip side I can't lug around unnecessary pounds because it isn't good for my health or my training. Let's be honest, would you want to run carrying a 15lb back pack?

I think not.

So this is it..no more excuses! I need to own my choices while keeping my goals in mind. I get up and run because I have a goal (ie: marathon) so this really shouldn't be any different. And like the occasional missed workout, a slice of pizza here and there won't destroy my ability to meet my goal.

A slice of pizza and a skipped workout every day might be a different story.

Now I know this is not a "weight loss" blog but sometimes losing weight is a part of an overall healthy lifestyle so my plans are to keep you in the loop as far as progress and insights are concerned. If you are the type to steer clear of this type of conversation because it might trigger an issue for you (or because you find it D-U-L-L) I completely understand. There will be plenty of other posts for you to enjoy.

And yes, there will still be cat photos (who just breathed a sigh of relief on that one??)

Here's a little trick that I picked up along the way: When trying to eat a calorie controlled yet nutrient dense diet, always fill up on veggies.

Yeah, I would say I got that down to a science don't ya think?

Now that's no lie!


So tell me, what's one thing (big or small) you should start today so you won't look back with regret?

On the Mend...

I just wanted to stop in and thank all of you who have taken the time to wish me well here and on Twitter. You guys are all a bunch of super cool rockstars and your concern means the world to me.

As for an update:

I am on my back back to health. I slept for over ten hours last night and thankfully some of the more, shall we say, excruciating symptoms have subsided and while I feel some noticeable kidney pain and tenderness throughout the day, keeping hydrated it helping.

It's safe to say I have upped my water consumption to 11 bazillion litres today. I might was well park myself in the bathroom for the afternoon. Thank goodness I finally figured out my wireless router because now I can bring you guys with me. Is that too much information? Good thing I am sort of kidding!

Oh and by the way, you guys are such a bunch of smart cookies! Stress is a definite factor for me and my health and one that I need to stop overlooking if I want to live healthy. Thanks again for all the great advice and perspectives!

Things other than drinking water to keep me busy today:

An epic clean-up of the apartment (The Boyfriend is so thrilled about this and is trying to milk my illness to get out of it!)
Reading blogs and resting in my organized home once the cleaning is done
A trip to Yogurtys which I am told is the Canadian equivalent of Yogurtland. My insane Janae jealousy can begin to subside now...

I can't exercise yet and may have to skip my long run again this weekend so I will spend a better part of the day reminding myself that "its for the goodness of my health". Oh well, I'll be back to running (and only drinking 3 bazillion litres of water) in no time!!


Have a wonderful and fun Saturday!!


So tell me, what fun (non-water drinking) things are you doing this weekend?

Does Being Healthy Make You Healthy?

It been a weird year for me health wise. Six months in and I can safely say I have eaten better so far this year then any year of my entire life. Yes, I have had some unfortunate bouts with binge eating but I also eat more nutritious, whole foods than ever before.

I also workout more efficiently now then I have in any 6 consecutive months. I run, cross train, strength train, stretch and get yoga-fied. It feels great and I am confident that I am on the right track as far as fitness is concerned. And that feels great!

So can someone please tell me, if I am doing healthy things why I can't manage to actually stay healthy?

I have had the flu three, count 'em, three times since the year started. I have had a hypoxiated cornea, digestive trouble and epic migraines.

Yes I shared that one again. You're welcome.

And now the latest medical drama to weasle its way into my "supposed to be" healthy life: kidney infection.

If you've had one you know that this is a nightmare. And having done some research I know mine is pracically mild compared to some people's experience. Nonetheless, I am not having even a little bit of fun.

On top of lower back (aka kidney) pain, frequent and painful trips to the bathroom and general malaise from my body's attempt to fight back, I am missing work and missing life. I can't workout, honor my commitment to play in a volleyball tournament tomorrow or even leave the house for too long in fear that I will have to bolt to a grimey gas station washroom five or six times in the span of an hour.

So here I am. Sick again and not happy about it.

Don't get me wrong, I know that things could definitely be worse. And I am so, SO grateful for the good health that I have most days. All I wish is that all my hardwork and good intentions could be put to better use by being able to actually revel in the "feeling good" that should come from healthy living.

I also know there are people out there who are suffering much more then me and who started out much healthier then me and as I write this my frustrations are for them too. Is it too much to ask to want to be as healthy as we try to be??

Yes, I am having a bit of a pity party. And yes, I need to suck it up because in all liklihood I will be well again in a few days. It's just so hard to hear people who smoke, drink frequently, party hard, eat poorly and never exercise on purpose say "Wow, you're sick again? I never get sick!"

Do I wish that they were sick instead. No. Well not entirely. My fear for them is that they never get sick so they think that they are healthy and I still believe (despite evidence to the contrary) that in the long run I will benefit from a healthy lifestyle and and unhealthy one will catch up to them. And that I don't want. So if the occasional cold would light a fire under their ass to clean up their act then maybe its not too bad....

Anyway, now that I've got that off my chest I am going to get back to the business of getting better. On deck for today:

7 bazillion litres of water/juice

Reading as many blogs as I can get my lil' hands on

Memory card cleanup

Reading Water for Elephants

Daytime tv

A nap

Yeah, its going to be boomin' up in here!

Happy Friday all! May the weekend find you in good health!

So tell me, do you find that people who live healthy aren't always the healthiest? Why do you think that is?

If "You Are What You Eat?" then what does that make me??

After writing last night's post and reading the comments as they came in (thank you all for sharing your thoughts!) I couldn't help but think about how what we eat truly defines who we are. And not in a self-deprecating way at all but in the sense that what we fuel our bodies with can change the way we feel physically, mentally and emotionally. Food, something many of us take for granted, can cause or prevent disease, which ultimately allows it to somewhat dictate our life and how long we might live it. It's pretty crazy when you think about it huh?

That got me thinking that a part of this whole journey that I am on is to live my best life as my best self. Not perfect. Not flawless. Not up to someone else's standard. Just the best version of me that I can be. And because food is so influential in all facets of that life the things I consume should reflect my intentions.

If I were to be the food that I eat, who would I be?

That's a good start...

Definitely proud to be associated with that...

Yes, yes, yes!!

For damn sure!...

In this sense being called a monster is a very good thing!..

Okay so I definitely have some good food choices that can help positively portray who I am and where I want to go. My biggest issue then is consistency. I eat like this quite regularly but in between these really strong moments there are copious amounts of not-so-stellar treats like candy, soda, chips.I say it all the time and I will say it again, I believe in balance. But that does not mean that it's 50/50! I should not ingest one sour key for every spoonful of yogurt (not that I do that everyday  but you catch my drift)

So what does it all mean? Instead of a diet plan or food rules I want to begin to treat my food consumption as another choice that is meant to reflect how I want to be treated. By feeding myself wholesome, nutrient dense food I am respecting and loving myself. Its so simple and healthy and that's just the way I like it.

And hey, some days love and respect mean having the cake. Nothing says I love you better then the occasional slice of Oreo cheesecake anyway!

So I am what I eat huh? I guess I must have eaten a whole lot of "weirdness" growing up.....



So tell me if you are what you eat, what does that make you??

Do People Really Eat This Junk?

Maybe it's because I spent the better part of the day with a nagging stomach-ache. Or maybe its because I saw someone post photos of poutine with hotdogs on Facebook last night. Or maybe its because everywhere I go it seems restaurants are pushing the bigger, better (and by better I mean greasier and more calorie dense), more theme to their poor over-consuming patrons...

Maybe that's why I came home and Googled these:

Its a burger pizza. All I can ask is why? Okay and maybe how? As in, how do you tell yourself this is a good idea? And how do you live with what I can only imagine is heartburn and indigestion like I've never known (thank goodness!)?

Poutine with bacon. Yes, that's correct; its greasy fries topped with cheese curds, gravy and fatty meat. All I got on that one is ugh!

I am not even sure what this is. It looks likes like a burger with nachos and something really unappetizing on the bottom layer. I can't even make myself go look up what it might be.

That would be pizza with mac & cheese on it. Why not throw on some bacon and call it a party. Call yourself an ambulance while you are at it!

Yuck, another greesy, grimey looking burger with more unknown additions to the bottom layer. It's definitely not spinach and I have my doubts about it even being edible.

Donuts with bacon? I mean, why not? You might as well get the artery-clogging ritual off to a roaring start in the morning!

Its beef. It's bacon. It's a fried egg. It's cheese. Not to mention a side of fries. Now if this one doesn't take you to the cardiac ward in a hurry I don't know what will. Blech!!



I don't eat perfectly. Not even close by a stretch of the imagination. But I don't eat this either and I don't ever plan to. Its one thing to indulge in a decadent meal from time to time but this fat, calorie and cholesterol ladden garbage is not an indulgance its a blatant disregard for health and wellness, at least as far as I can see it.

That's not to say that I judge you if you've tried anyone of these (or all of them for that matter). Food is a personal choice. All I ask is that you recognize that these choices add up and not to something good. Sure, I preach balance all the time and I believe it. But I also believe that there isn't enough spinach on the planet to cancel these bad-boys out.

Just say no.

Your heart and health will thank you.

And no I won't tell you where these images are from. That would just make me a "gross food" enabler. No thank you! You can call Man vs. Food if you want those kind of recommendations...


So tell me, what's the grossest food item you have ever seen on a menu? What are your thoughts about the Bigger, Better, More trend in restaurants today?



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