No one keeps their "fat" photos...

"Let me see a photo!!"

Its an all too common response to the statement "I lost over 35 lbs last year". People are astounded at the very idea that the you that stands before them used to be, well, bigger.

My response nearly every time is the same, and that is, "I don't have any."

I guess its not entirely true. I am the lightest I have been in probably 8 years, so I definitely have pictures of the heavier version of me. But pictures of the me who stood dangerously close to the line that divides the 100's with the 200's? That girl doesn't seem to be captured from the neck down in one single photo. I am guessing that that was deliberate

In truth I was completely miserable then. My personal life was spiraling out of control and my weight was climbing and climbing. None of my clothes fit, I felt sluggish and tired and unmotivated. I wanted to hide under baggy track pants and a winter coat that was literally busting at the zipper. It was a bad, BAD time for me. And rarely does anyone take the time to capture the unhappy moments.

What I can offer you, as far as before and after is concerned, is this:

These were taken a few years (and probably 15-20+pounds) ago. As you can see I carried the extra weight in my face, arms and waist. I didn't even realize it then but I just kept gaining, despite several attempts at one diet or another. I was on a slow ride to 196lbs and I didn't have a clue!!

And this is now (or a few months ago to be exact) on a trip to the Dominican Republic:

Its funny how easily I find pictures of me now. I even have bikini photos *gasp*! And I feel friggin' great about it. Call me vain but I like looking at some of these pictures because they remind me of how far I have come. But even more then that, these ones, the ones that weren't deleted three seconds after they were snapped keep me motivated when sleeping in and a stack of pancakes seem much more appealing then an 6am run around the neighbourhood.

So tell me, do you use your before to keep you motivated towards your after?



  1. I hear ya - I don't like full body pictures unless I'm feeling good about my weight. Kinda sad - but I think many can relate. Anyway, you look great. You've come a long way and you should be proud.

  2. I don't use my "before" pictures for motivation but I do have them. Not that much because I always tried to avoid to be on a picture. On our holiday pictures it's about 10% photo's of me and the rest of the hub and place we've been.

    I'm still not that comfortable to get my picture taken, have to get used to that.

  3. I definitely have some photos from "unhealthier" days on *both* ends of the scale; some from my ed days remind me that I was never intended to be that thin; others remind me not to slip back into nonchalant eating habits!

  4. I'm with you- full body pictures of my highest weight don't exist. I wish they did! You look incredible now, you have done so well!!

  5. I am the same way, though I did manage to find 2 pictures that best illustrate me in my fatter days. Noone ever wants to be reminded in a picture of how they feel negatively about themselves.

  6. This is such a hard topic; I hate seeing old photos but it is a good reminder. Memories can be powerful! Thank you for sharing you thoughts in this post

  7. Great blog!! I think pictures can be a great motivating tool. Thanks for sharing yours!

  8. I also really store all of my fat in my face. I keep the pictures, but I only like a couple of them which I don't look *too* bad. However, I'm finding myself more photogenic now that my face has thinned out a bit.