It has taken me much longer then I expected to write this post. I have started it half a dozen times only to stop because nothing seems quite right and I don't know why. I am self-aware. I know that I have an issue. So whats the big deal right?
Truthfully I think the hardest part of all of this is admitting to the problem, identifying why I have it and then actually having to do something about it! Eeek!
I like to eat. I think most people do. But I think that there is a part of me that really, really likes to eat. That part enjoys the "face-stuffing" and is a little nervous that once this is all said and done that little habit will be no more. Ah well, sucks to be her! I am moving past this whether she likes it or not.
Why do I overeat/binge?
*Boredom. Nothin' to do so I eat
*I'm stressed and I deserve it. These aren't mutually exclusive events. Sometimes I find my way to the bottom of a box of crackers right in the middle of a stressful afternoon but other times, after a rough day I justify eating everything in sight by telling myself that I earned it. Its a cycle though because once the binge is over I feel worse and more stressed then I did before it started.
*It's habitual. Watching TV or a movie means snack time to me. They go together like peanut butter and jelly (although thats not the best comparison seeing as I hate that combo but you get my drift)
*Its time to eat. Whether I am hungry or not I find that I must eat dinner. Even if it's 10 o'clock at night and I should be heading to bed soon I still feel compelled to make soemthing for dinner.
*I want to smoke. I have smoked cigarettes on and off for years and now that I am off them again (for the most part) I find myself snacking whenever the craving hits me.
*I already blew it today. Similar to not starting a diet until Monday I will often allow a binge to continue for a whole day, telling myself that it only makes sense to start fresh tomorrow. The worst part is sometimes tomorrow doesn't come the next day.
Snack foods (cookies, chips, candy, popcorn, pretzels, crackers) are definitely my weakness. I should avoid them by keeping them out of the house but I also know that I need to be able to avoid them even if they are staring me in the face. I need to get to the point where if I do choose to indulge (because let's get real..am I never going to eat popcorn again? I don't think so!) I treat myself to a reasonable portion and get back on track. Everything in moderation, as they say.
Stay tuned for the installment of Confessions where I begin to find healthy alternatives to my triggers and start to treat food as the fuel I need to accomplish all of my goals.
So tell me, do any of these "whys" look familiar to you? If they do, how do you overcome them?
Hey Samantha, I can completely relate to a few of those. 1. Habit - To avoid eating while watching tv or surfing blogs, I make myself only eat at the dinning room table. Thus no eating on the couch in front of the tv or computer. 2.Boredom I find gets tied in a lot with the habitual. If it's a quiet night at home alone, I will purposely schedule my workouts for that time when I know I might be weak. When I stay busy I'm less likely to binge.3. Time This is one I am currently working on. Its the one I recently recognized. Just because it's noon or 5pm doens't mean I HAVE to eat. I have to do a lot of coaching myself to not eat just because of time and wait out until I am actually hungry.
ReplyDeleteI always eat popcorn just because it's habit and look in the pantry as soon as I walk in the kitchen even if I'm not hungry. I am so bad about the 'already blew it today' thing and try to remind myself that I can't change what I did in the past so forget about that and change right now and stop. It's so hard. This stream of posts is so great to be able to identify the issues underlying everything and begin to work through them all
ReplyDeleteKatherine
These "why's" all look familiar to me.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of my issues stem from the need to be CONSTANTLY stimulated. I have to be doing multiple things at once (eating/watching tv/texting) or I feel strange.
So, I try to occupy my time with productive things like walking my dog, doing chores around the house, exercising, etc.
I also remind myself that I don't HAVE to be doing 100 things at once. I can enjoy the simplicity and calming notions of focusing on one task at a time. Or doing nothing, fod God's sake. That is okay sometimes too!
Hi Samantha, Sounds like we have a VERY similar fitness journey. I'm also a half marathoner (hopefully one day full marathoner) who overeats... (I've also lost 30 pounds and have 10-15 left). It's so tough - and for the longest time I felt like I was the only one! Thanks for being so honest - it inspires me to do the same.
ReplyDeleteJackie
And here's my blog if you're interested: returnofthejack.wordpress.com