It has taken me much longer then I expected to write this post. I have started it half a dozen times only to stop because nothing seems quite right and I don't know why. I am self-aware. I know that I have an issue. So whats the big deal right?
Truthfully I think the hardest part of all of this is admitting to the problem, identifying why I have it and then actually having to do something about it! Eeek!
I like to eat. I think most people do. But I think that there is a part of me that really, really likes to eat. That part enjoys the "face-stuffing" and is a little nervous that once this is all said and done that little habit will be no more. Ah well, sucks to be her! I am moving past this whether she likes it or not.
Why do I overeat/binge?
*Boredom. Nothin' to do so I eat
*I'm stressed and I deserve it. These aren't mutually exclusive events. Sometimes I find my way to the bottom of a box of crackers right in the middle of a stressful afternoon but other times, after a rough day I justify eating everything in sight by telling myself that I earned it. Its a cycle though because once the binge is over I feel worse and more stressed then I did before it started.
*It's habitual. Watching TV or a movie means snack time to me. They go together like peanut butter and jelly (although thats not the best comparison seeing as I hate that combo but you get my drift)
*Its time to eat. Whether I am hungry or not I find that I must eat dinner. Even if it's 10 o'clock at night and I should be heading to bed soon I still feel compelled to make soemthing for dinner.
*I want to smoke. I have smoked cigarettes on and off for years and now that I am off them again (for the most part) I find myself snacking whenever the craving hits me.
*I already blew it today. Similar to not starting a diet until Monday I will often allow a binge to continue for a whole day, telling myself that it only makes sense to start fresh tomorrow. The worst part is sometimes tomorrow doesn't come the next day.
Snack foods (cookies, chips, candy, popcorn, pretzels, crackers) are definitely my weakness. I should avoid them by keeping them out of the house but I also know that I need to be able to avoid them even if they are staring me in the face. I need to get to the point where if I do choose to indulge (because let's get real..am I never going to eat popcorn again? I don't think so!) I treat myself to a reasonable portion and get back on track. Everything in moderation, as they say.
Stay tuned for the installment of Confessions where I begin to find healthy alternatives to my triggers and start to treat food as the fuel I need to accomplish all of my goals.
So tell me, do any of these "whys" look familiar to you? If they do, how do you overcome them?