Let me tell you about a (BBM) chat that I had with The Boyfriend lately. I messaged him with what was about to be every guy's worst nightmare:
"I feel gross"
He responded wanting to know why.
I wrote "I feel large"
Guy response #1 "Dumbass"
I thanked him most sincerely (and by sincerely I mean I raised an emoticon eyebrow at him)
"You're silly if you ask me" he wrote.
Me "I'm not. I've gained"
Guy response # 2 "So? Look good to me"
I gasped and almost did that thing some of us girls do (you know, THAT thing) and fained insult that he was in fact acknowledging my weight gain. Instead, I took the moral high ground and wrote:
"I don't like it". If BBM had a pitiful pouty face emoticon you better believe I would have used it.
His most matter-of-fact response? "You'll change it"
What the what?? Where was my pity party? I was having a woe-is-me moment and he wasn't jumping on the bandwagon? How was I supposed to continue sulking under these conditions??
I didn't know, but I sure tried. "Ughhhhhh! I feel like a blob!"
Good guy response #3 "Sam, you're as beautiful know as when we got together"
Not falling for it! You won't change my bad attitude that easily mister "But I'm mad that I let this happen"
"So use that anger and kick some ass"
I could have thrown my Blackberry across the office. How, oh friggin' how could be make this so simple? I mean, what was I supposed to do, actually do something about what was bothering me??
Oh wait.....that's actually what I was supposed to do. Duh!
And that my friends is how a little dose of Male Mentality (aka Stop Your Whining and Fix Your Problem!) made me realize that all these years when I was bitching about the fact that I had gained weight/been lazy/couldn't run I'd wasted much too much time that I could have used actually improving my life. Who knew!!
Thanks babe!
Here I go, off to do something with myself instead of just sitting here talking about it! Have a great night everyone!
So tell me, has a member of the opposite sex ever given it to you straight and changed the way you think??
*Disclaimer: My weight gain is a few pounds. I in no way believe that this makes me "large" nor is this meant as a judgement of anyone else. I plan to address the weight gain by being more consistent with my healthy eating habits and active lifestyle. If I have offended you in anyway I sincerely apologize as that was not the message or the intention of this post.
OH, I know exactly how you feel. And thankfully my husband always tells me how it is. Before I started losing weight, I would complain and he would say, "WELL DO SOMETHING THEN!" At first I was so offended, but then I realized that he was right. That's one of those reasons why I married him!
ReplyDeleteSometimes we all need a dose of brutal honesty. Im not sure what my boyfriend would say if I told him I thought I gained weight... actually, he would probably tell me before I realized. He's loving that way.
ReplyDeleteAll the time. Whether its my weight, my job, any problems... Brandon doesn't beat around the bush. But he's always right. Shhh. Don't tell him I said that.
ReplyDeleteI've fallen off the wagon too I feel. We're in this together Sam!
ha ha ha I can actually picture you having this conversation with him!! You are beautiful the way you are but I totally understand the way you feel :) You will be back to where you want to be soon!
ReplyDeleteYaaa my b/f basically just rolls my eyes at me when I complain about being "fat"! Haha. I try REALLY hard to stay away from the negative self-talk, self-thinking but it's hard sometimes!
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly the kind of stuff my husband says to me. He never lets me have a pity party. The other day we were having a conversation about a friend of mine who isn't being so nice these days, and he said "why are you spending time with people who make you feel bad? That doesn't seem like a very good friend." It was a nice kick in the pants.
ReplyDeletehaha its funny to see how differently guys and girls think about things, huh? I try to stay away from the fat talk, but lately I've been feeling a little bit like you. I'm ready to kick some ass though!
ReplyDeleteNothing like the truth from a loved one to spur you on! my hubby calls me Mac - as in a Mac truck - semi trailer size. I guess I should be thankful he doesn't call me planet. This is all light hearted by the way. He is the same, with "well do something about it", he's not interested in hearing me complain about my weight. He also forces me to go to the gym. Sometimes I just don't feel like going but he tells me to get dressed and pushes me out the door - I guess it shows he really does care :)
ReplyDeleteLove the honesty - yours and his! I've had those days...and probably that exact BBM convo...on occasion. My BF always offers a dose of honesty and perspective. It's not necessarily welcome at the time, but it really is true. And he really does love you no matter what!
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